In this message we will look at what the Scriptures have to say about marriage, analyze concerns and questions raised in our day, overview the cultural changes that have led to many questioning the value and benefit of marriage, and do so from a Christian worldview. We will also take a look at some secular contemporary research and what it indicates.
Common Reactions:
1. The culture has changed:
– Married Couples comprised:
1950 — 78% of all US households
2020 — 47% of all US households
– Living together before marriage:
1960’s — 5%
2020’s — 70%
– Recent analysis of the General Social Survey data tells us Americans’ happiness declined from the 1970s to the 2020s. Sam Peltzman, Professor emeritus, University of Chicago says one thing explains the most recent decline in overall happiness – the decline of marriage.
The data indicates the benefit of what the Bible has said all along. Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” The literal Hebrew translation for the word helper is: “Helper equal to Him.” This is talking about two people who are complimentary to each other. Our Creator recognized we function better together.
2. Divorce makes me fear marriage:
– the spike in divorce rate have left an impression on the generation raised in one parent households.
3. Why not just live together?
– the Bible tells us to be faithful before and after marriage to our spouse.
– Couples who live together:
4-5 times more likely to break up than married couples
more likely to divorce once they do marry (by about 50%)
higher incidence of alcohol abuse, drug abuse and domestic violence
4. How can I know the right one? “Fall in like before you fall in love.” This means – find an individual who is like minded, who shares your faith, your values, your outlook on life, an individual who truly is a potential soulmate. Make sure that the person you choose as your life partner and spouse is one who holds like values and believes as you do.
5. I’m not sure marriage is for me: One does not need to feel pushed into marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7:7 Paul refers to the gift of celibacy saying, “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” God does not say everyone is to be married.
Contemporary Research: 2 books
⁃ “The Two-Parent Privilege” by Melissa S. Kearney Professor of Economics, University of Maryland 2023 – tells us that “Americans stopped getting married and started falling behind.” Her work has been printed in:
Wall Street Journal
New York Times
National Review
Atlantic Magazine
She offers a “provocative, data-driven case for marriage by showing how the institution’s decline has led to a host of economic woes…” She shows how children do better in a family where their parents are married to each other.
⁃ Education outcomes
⁃ Physical and mental health
⁃ Diminishes suicide possibility
⁃ Serves as a barrier to alcohol and drug use and child abuse
⁃ Impacts Teenage pregnancy and delinquency
She comes at this on the basis of solid economic data and what we can see happening in our culture today.
⁃ “Get Married” by Brad Wilcox Professor Sociology, University of Virginia 2024. Also published in the following:
⁃ Wall Street Journal
⁃ New York Times
⁃ National Review
⁃ Atlantic Magazine
Wilcox tells us, “When it comes to predicting overall happiness, a good marriage is far more important than how much education you get, how much money you make, how often you have sex and even how satisfied you are with your work.”
Pastor concludes with these thoughts: God created us, He speaks because He knows us and wants what is best for us. God invented marriage and He gives us guidance on how to have a truly blessed and God-pleasing marriage.
Malachi 2:15 says, “Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.”
Those are powerful, spirit-given words that we need to take to heart
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